


When You're Gone

by Blujayalexander



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 00:26:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7144697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blujayalexander/pseuds/Blujayalexander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a fanfic based on Avril Lavigne’s song when your gone.</p>
<p>What happens when Dan think's he needs space, but realizes he really does need Phil by his side. Written Mostly from Dan's view point.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You're Gone

**_I always need time on my own , I never thought I’d need you there when I cried_ **

It’s been only a matter of weeks and I still can’t quite get my head around it , how it came to us not even talking , sometimes I wonder if I was to blame saying I needed space , but now I realise you were trying to help me. Still I pushed you away didn’t I Phil? And now here I am, broken and confused trying to work everything out. The tears are silent now, I just wish you were here still, to make things better. The way only you can. I remember it like it was yesterday, the day you walked out, and the physical pain in my chests not going away. I really wish the night mare would end.

**_And the days feel like Years when I’m alone , and the bed where you lie is made up on your side._ **

Sometimes I venture outside , most of the time I try and be alone, because it’s in those moments I can dwell on how stupid I was pushing you away, making you leave and all because I couldn’t handle the idea of the world knowing we were in love, the days slowly so by and I swear each one feels like a year when I don’t have you with me. I sometimes lay away staring at the space where you used to lay with me, imagining your warmth still there , your soft breathing is all I hear and I for a moment or two am back to before things got so tough , before I messed you up. I haven’t unmade the bed since , I lay on top of it wrapped in your blanket, your smells slowly fading now…..do you know I’m missing you like this, do you even care ? You’ve probably moved on already. Found someone who’s open and proud, I’m sorry I couldn’t be that for you.

**_When you walk away I count the steps that you take , do you know how much I need you right now?_ **

I counted your footsteps as you left, and headed to the car your stuff well mostly already taken , you left a few thing behind, your bedding some clothes …mostly because they were on the floor and you didn’t want to stop for them. And me….you left me behind that day Phil as you walked out without a second glance, I’d lost you to my own stupidity and watching you take those few 100 steps out to apartment and down to the car broke an already broken heart. I wish you were here, do you know I’m watching the door, longing you to be here. To fix my broken heart, the way only you know how. Somehow I doubt you know and if you do, I bet you don’t care anymore.

**_The pieces of my heart are missing you, when you gone the face I came to know is missing too._ **

It’s so weird not waking up to you every morning , your cute smile always managed to cheer me up after a bad night, not sleeping well you always managed to be cute enough to make me forget, your perfect smile, your brilliant blue eyes with flecks of green and gold, your cute little tongue thing you did when you laugh are all missing, but do present in my mind , I miss waking up to that every morning , the broken parts of my Heart are no longer hurting they just miss you, they long to be mended by a love only you know how to give. Sometimes I look through our photos and remember now happy we were and focus on your face, that way ….some now it feels like I don’t miss you as much.

**_The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay , I miss you._ **

_~~This is the most fun I’ve ever had.~~_ Those few words I still cling to, and I’d the times when I feel like giving up , I remember all the times we’ve said those words to me, the weekend we first met, the first time I said those words. I knew then you were going to make a difference to my life, The Many times those words have passed our lips and time I’ve believed you. Those few words get me through the day, the memories so fresh and vibrant it’s like reliving them, I know I shouldn’t be dwelling on the past but I can’t give you up that easily. And remembering your words gets me through another day on my own.

**_I’ve never felt this way before everything that I do reminds me of you._ **

It doesn’t get easier , in fact it only gets harder and harder each day in the same apartment where everything I see or do, reminds me of you. I’ve never quite felt pain like this before or the weird sense that we used to do these things together, because as try as I might I haven’t been able to record a video since you left, it’s to hard knowing your not going to be at my side as I record or watching on. I’ve tried but I just cry every time. Maybe I should move out. Maybe them everything wouldn’t remind me of you.

**_And the clothes you left , they lie on the floor and they smell just like you._ **

I did start to try and clean the place up a bit, then your pile of clothes in our your room caught me again, they still smell just like you, and I’m at a loss again, I’ve given up trying now and retreat you your room and lay there sometimes , the smell making me believe your still here with me, sometimes It’s like I feel your touch…weird I know but at least your smell gives me comfort it’s never been something I thought I’d miss. But your aftershave is now one of the smells saved to my memory banks for when time get bad and I’m all on my own. Sometimes I’ll catch a hint of it and turn but your not there. I swear I’m going crazy lion.

**_Everything I do , I give my heart and soul, i can hardly breath; I need to feel you here with me._ **

I’ve started do as you said Phil, living my life now I want and I’m trying not to be afraid any more sometimes though it’s not easy, In everything I do I now give my heart and soul trying to be a better person , one you can be proud of, I still get panicked though. At the thought of being judged sometimes it’s so hard to breath when they start, and I need to feel you. You’re the only one who’s ever been able to sooth an attack with just one touch , oh Phil I am sorry and I wish you’d see . I’m a better person than I used to be. I’d give my heart and soul just to be with you again.

**_The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay._ **

It’s been to long since I last saw you, and sometimes I wonder if you’ll come back I know we’ve spoken and you’ve forgave me, that made me so happy. Hearing you say you understood and knew I never meant all those words. Right now though I’m wishing you’d would come home so we could try again. Make things perfect.

~~**_I miss you_ ** ~~

_I can’t believe I’m home ….I’ve missed Dan so much …and I never really wanted to walk away I just gave him the space he needed. And in return realised neither of us could cope without the other. We’re now curled up together on the couch Dans half asleep on me. We’ve had a little celebration, see me being home isn’t the only thing that happened recently . I happened to have a very special ring made, into it are carved a lion and a bear, were officially engaged , finally we’re happy and open about who we are , and we no longer miss each other when_


End file.
